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Quality Television
Where quality and television aren't just a clever oxymoron anymore...
Created on 2004-01-29 17:50:17 (#2050637), last updated 2009-01-22
962 comments received, 1,149 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
336 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 3 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 2 Userpics
Basic Info| Birthdate: | 03-08 |
|---|---|
| Location: | United States |
| Website: | Quality Television |
BioDo you like quality?
Do you like watching TV?
Do you like answering stupid questions?
If you answered "YES" to any of these questions, then we've got a treat for you! That's right. It's called Quality Television.
QUALITY TELEVISION?
You're probably asking yourself, "What is quality television?" And this is a very understandable question. That's because you have never seen anything of quality on television before. Until now! So don't touch that dial! Wait... Who has a dial on their TV these days? I suppose I should say, "don't put down that remote." No, no... if you don't put down the remote it means you're still holding it, in which case you are likely to change the channel. No. We don't want that. That actually defeats the whole purpose. Okay, put down that remote and enjoy some Quality Television!
AT ALL COSTS. SERIOUSLY.
In all seriousness, there is nothing serious about this show. Our creative team has gone out of its way to make sure that there is no seriousness, at all costs. Of course, since this was a cable access show, and nobody on the creative team was actually being paid, the cost is really low. It's practically nonexistent. And when I say practically nonexistent, I mean absolutely nonexistent. Come to think of it, the creative team itself is barely existent. Guess we should have been nicer to them when we got picked up.
So, the show doesn't have many special effects, or elaborate sets, or great actors, or good writing. But it does have a lot of heart. And that makes all the difference. Doesn't that make you feel all warm and tingly inside? Of course, that warm tingly feeling may just be the seven tabs of X you took about a half hour ago. Hey, whatever it takes. We're not here to judge you.
OUR #1 GOAL
The number one goal of this show is to make you want to watch this show. Just being honest. We don't care if it makes you think, or opens your eyes, or whatever the other shows say their goal is. You can think on your own time. That's your business. We just want an audience. If you happen to enjoy the show, then that's cool, too. If it makes you think, then we apologize for the inconvenience. Our intent is solely mindless entertainment. That's what television is all about.
HISTORY of QUALITY TELEVISION
We first conceived of the idea of Quality Television a few years ago. At that time, we were a few years younger. We had no idea what it would take to get a good, quality television series off the ground. We were also drunk all the time. I only say this because it's a funny thing, being drunk. It's also a good way to keep your attention. The only thing more compelling would be drug addiction. We never got hooked on drugs though. But don't worry, our "price of fame" is coming.
Anyway, we came up with the idea for the series, we pitched it to some network execs and finally we got the "green light" to do a pilot episode. We were ecstatic. We got on the ball and did what all the top producers in Hollywood do. We hired a team of five monkeys to write the pilot. It didn't go so well. We realized we had made a terrible error in judgment. We wouldn't get anything of value out of five monkeys. So, we did the next logical thing. We got a million monkeys working on the project. After a longer time than we had hoped for, we finally got a finished product. We had a script and we were thrilled! But we would soon realize that something was horribly wrong. The script that we held before us on that dreadful day, turned out to be an episode of Friends. With the mild variation that William Shakespeare played the part of Ross. Needless to say, we got rid of those stupid monkeys We proceeded to write the script ourselves, but it was too late. We missed the deadline. So, at the last minute we had to just 'wing that mother.' Luckily for us, the pilot was a roaring success. The network commended us for our handiwork and granted us a shot.
So, we did the next logical thing. We got drunk.
And that brings us to today. We have a great show for you. You'll never know what to expect. But you should get a laugh or two. If you don't, then watch again next week. You'll laugh eventually. And if you never laugh, then you should probably go see a proctologist because you seem to have a large, cumbersome object stuck up your ass.
Hope you enjoy the show.
Do you like watching TV?
Do you like answering stupid questions?
If you answered "YES" to any of these questions, then we've got a treat for you! That's right. It's called Quality Television.
QUALITY TELEVISION?
You're probably asking yourself, "What is quality television?" And this is a very understandable question. That's because you have never seen anything of quality on television before. Until now! So don't touch that dial! Wait... Who has a dial on their TV these days? I suppose I should say, "don't put down that remote." No, no... if you don't put down the remote it means you're still holding it, in which case you are likely to change the channel. No. We don't want that. That actually defeats the whole purpose. Okay, put down that remote and enjoy some Quality Television!
AT ALL COSTS. SERIOUSLY.
In all seriousness, there is nothing serious about this show. Our creative team has gone out of its way to make sure that there is no seriousness, at all costs. Of course, since this was a cable access show, and nobody on the creative team was actually being paid, the cost is really low. It's practically nonexistent. And when I say practically nonexistent, I mean absolutely nonexistent. Come to think of it, the creative team itself is barely existent. Guess we should have been nicer to them when we got picked up.
So, the show doesn't have many special effects, or elaborate sets, or great actors, or good writing. But it does have a lot of heart. And that makes all the difference. Doesn't that make you feel all warm and tingly inside? Of course, that warm tingly feeling may just be the seven tabs of X you took about a half hour ago. Hey, whatever it takes. We're not here to judge you.
OUR #1 GOAL
The number one goal of this show is to make you want to watch this show. Just being honest. We don't care if it makes you think, or opens your eyes, or whatever the other shows say their goal is. You can think on your own time. That's your business. We just want an audience. If you happen to enjoy the show, then that's cool, too. If it makes you think, then we apologize for the inconvenience. Our intent is solely mindless entertainment. That's what television is all about.
HISTORY of QUALITY TELEVISION
We first conceived of the idea of Quality Television a few years ago. At that time, we were a few years younger. We had no idea what it would take to get a good, quality television series off the ground. We were also drunk all the time. I only say this because it's a funny thing, being drunk. It's also a good way to keep your attention. The only thing more compelling would be drug addiction. We never got hooked on drugs though. But don't worry, our "price of fame" is coming.
Anyway, we came up with the idea for the series, we pitched it to some network execs and finally we got the "green light" to do a pilot episode. We were ecstatic. We got on the ball and did what all the top producers in Hollywood do. We hired a team of five monkeys to write the pilot. It didn't go so well. We realized we had made a terrible error in judgment. We wouldn't get anything of value out of five monkeys. So, we did the next logical thing. We got a million monkeys working on the project. After a longer time than we had hoped for, we finally got a finished product. We had a script and we were thrilled! But we would soon realize that something was horribly wrong. The script that we held before us on that dreadful day, turned out to be an episode of Friends. With the mild variation that William Shakespeare played the part of Ross. Needless to say, we got rid of those stupid monkeys We proceeded to write the script ourselves, but it was too late. We missed the deadline. So, at the last minute we had to just 'wing that mother.' Luckily for us, the pilot was a roaring success. The network commended us for our handiwork and granted us a shot.
So, we did the next logical thing. We got drunk.
And that brings us to today. We have a great show for you. You'll never know what to expect. But you should get a laugh or two. If you don't, then watch again next week. You'll laugh eventually. And if you never laugh, then you should probably go see a proctologist because you seem to have a large, cumbersome object stuck up your ass.
Hope you enjoy the show.
ConnectInterests (38):
anne mccaffrey, burrito baseball, burrito parajumping, burritos, california, cannibal the musical, cheese, disbeliefism, eating burritos, fark, film, film editing, filmmaking, flying burritos, hating burritos, launching burritos, los angeles, matt stone, mayhem, mike judge, mischief, mockery, monkey shines, nachos, photography, photoshop, pooping burritos, quality television, shenanigans, sleeping, south park, tarantino, throwing burritos, tim burton, tomfoolery, trey parker, women with burritos, writing
External Services:
 | qualitytv@livejournal.com |
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